by Haruki
Murakami
One
beautiful April morning, on a narrow side street in Tokyo’s fashionable
Harujuku neighborhood, I walked past the 100% perfect girl.
Tell you the
truth, she’s not that good-looking. She doesn’t stand out in any way. Her
clothes are nothing special. The back of her hair is still bent out of shape
from sleep. She isn’t young, either - must be near thirty, not even close to a
“girl,” properly speaking. But still, I know from fifty yards away: She’s the
100% perfect girl for me. The moment I see her, there’s a rumbling in my chest,
and my mouth is as dry as a desert.
Maybe you
have your own particular favorite type of girl - one with slim ankles, say, or
big eyes, or graceful fingers, or you’re drawn for no good reason to girls who
take their time with every meal. I have my own preferences, of course.
Sometimes in a restaurant I’ll catch myself staring at the girl at the next
table to mine because I like the shape of her nose.
But no one
can insist that his 100% perfect girl correspond to some preconceived type.
Much as I like noses, I can’t recall the shape of hers - or even if she had
one. All I can remember for sure is that she was no great beauty. It’s weird.
“Yesterday
on the street I passed the 100% girl,” I tell someone.
“Yeah?” he
says. “Good-looking?”
“Not
really.”
“Your
favorite type, then?”
“I don’t
know. I can’t seem to remember anything about her - the shape of her eyes or
the size of her breasts.”
“Strange.”
“Yeah.
Strange.”
“So anyhow,”
he says, already bored, “what did you do? Talk to her? Follow her?”
“Nah. Just
passed her on the street.”
She’s
walking east to west, and I west to east. It’s a really nice April morning.
Wish I could
talk to her. Half an hour would be plenty: just ask her about herself, tell her
about myself, and - what I’d really like to do - explain to her the
complexities of fate that have led to our passing each other on a side street
in Harajuku on a beautiful April morning in 1981. This was something sure to be
crammed full of warm secrets, like an antique clock build when peace filled the
world.
After
talking, we’d have lunch somewhere, maybe see a Woody Allen movie, stop by a
hotel bar for cocktails. With any kind of luck, we might end up in bed.
Potentiality
knocks on the door of my heart.
Now the
distance between us has narrowed to fifteen yards.
How can I
approach her? What should I say?
“Good
morning, miss. Do you think you could spare half an hour for a little
conversation?”
Ridiculous.
I’d sound like an insurance salesman.
“Pardon me,
but would you happen to know if there is an all-night cleaners in the
neighborhood?”
No, this is
just as ridiculous. I’m not carrying any laundry, for one thing. Who’s going to
buy a line like that?
Maybe the
simple truth would do. “Good morning. You are the 100% perfect girl for me.”
No, she
wouldn’t believe it. Or even if she did, she might not want to talk to me.
Sorry, she could say, I might be the 100% perfect girl for you, but you’re not
the 100% boy for me. It could happen. And if I found myself in that situation,
I’d probably go to pieces. I’d never recover from the shock. I’m thirty-two,
and that’s what growing older is all about.
We pass in
front of a flower shop. A small, warm air mass touches my skin. The asphalt is
damp, and I catch the scent of roses. I can’t bring myself to speak to her. She
wears a white sweater, and in her right hand she holds a crisp white envelope
lacking only a stamp. So: She’s written somebody a letter, maybe spent the
whole night writing, to judge from the sleepy look in her eyes. The envelope
could contain every secret she’s ever had.
I take a few
more strides and turn: She’s lost in the crowd.
Now, of
course, I know exactly what I should have said to her. It would have been a
long speech, though, far too long for me to have delivered it properly. The
ideas I come up with are never very practical.
Oh, well. It
would have started “Once upon a time” and ended “A sad story, don’t you think?”
Once upon a
time, there lived a boy and a girl. The boy was eighteen and the girl sixteen.
He was not unusually handsome, and she was not especially beautiful. They were
just an ordinary lonely boy and an ordinary lonely girl, like all the others.
But they believed with their whole hearts that somewhere in the world there
lived the 100% perfect boy and the 100% perfect girl for them. Yes, they
believed in a miracle. And that miracle actually happened.
One day the
two came upon each other on the corner of a street.
“This is
amazing,” he said. “I’ve been looking for you all my life. You may not believe
this, but you’re the 100% perfect girl for me.”
“And you,”
she said to him, “are the 100% perfect boy for me, exactly as I’d pictured you
in every detail. It’s like a dream.”
They sat on
a park bench, held hands, and told each other their stories hour after hour.
They were not lonely anymore. They had found and been found by their 100%
perfect other. What a wonderful thing it is to find and be found by your 100%
perfect other. It’s a miracle, a cosmic miracle.
As they sat
and talked, however, a tiny, tiny sliver of doubt took root in their hearts:
Was it really all right for one’s dreams to come true so easily?
And so, when
there came a momentary lull in their conversation, the boy said to the girl,
“Let’s test ourselves - just once. If we really are each other’s 100% perfect
lovers, then sometime, somewhere, we will meet again without fail. And when
that happens, and we know that we are the 100% perfect ones, we’ll marry then and
there. What do you think?”
“Yes,” she
said, “that is exactly what we should do.”
And so they
parted, she to the east, and he to the west.
The test
they had agreed upon, however, was utterly unnecessary. They should never have
undertaken it, because they really and truly were each other’s 100% perfect
lovers, and it was a miracle that they had ever met. But it was impossible for
them to know this, young as they were. The cold, indifferent waves of fate
proceeded to toss them unmercifully.
One winter,
both the boy and the girl came down with the season’s terrible inluenza, and
after drifting for weeks between life and death they lost all memory of their
earlier years. When they awoke, their heads were as empty as the young D. H.
Lawrence’s piggy bank.
They were
two bright, determined young people, however, and through their unremitting
efforts they were able to acquire once again the knowledge and feeling that
qualified them to return as full-fledged members of society. Heaven be praised,
they became truly upstanding citizens who knew how to transfer from one subway
line to another, who were fully capable of sending a special-delivery letter at
the post office. Indeed, they even experienced love again, sometimes as much as
75% or even 85% love.
Time passed
with shocking swiftness, and soon the boy was thirty-two, the girl thirty.
One
beautiful April morning, in search of a cup of coffee to start the day, the boy
was walking from west to east, while the girl, intending to send a
special-delivery letter, was walking from east to west, but along the same
narrow street in the Harajuku neighborhood of Tokyo. They passed each other in
the very center of the street. The faintest gleam of their lost memories
glimmered for the briefest moment in their hearts. Each felt a rumbling in
their chest. And they knew:
She is the
100% perfect girl for me.
He is the
100% perfect boy for me.
But the glow
of their memories was far too weak, and their thoughts no longer had the
clarity of fouteen years earlier. Without a word, they passed each other,
disappearing into the crowd. Forever.
A sad story,
don’t you think?
Yes, that’s
it, that is what I should have said to her.
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